Ok… I have to start with he funniest one… which was NOT directed at me. Instead it was when my husband was still a young socially awkward virgin. He was interested in a very pretty young lady with mixed ethnicity. He asked her if she was an Oreo. Yup… an oreo.
Skip forward to the now old socially awkward married dude… He is still just as suave and his pick up lines and attempts at wooing me are just as filled with charm.
My personal favorite and the most common in my household must be pictured with a sour attitude, arms cross, huffy tone, and general impression of a teenaged girl: “Let me guess, I’m not getting laid tonight. Am I.” *Add harrumph for effect*
Usually that one is brought out when I have just vomited, when I am visibly ill, when I have a migraine, or when I am hurting for one reason or another. Admittedly… I am sick and/or in pain frequently (especially after my traumatic brain injury 2 years ago).
Another fun one is usually following him being a complete jerk for one reason or another and me pointing it out. “So… you wanna?” Making me want to end the ambiguous non-sentence with “punch you in the throat?” or “kick you in the giggly bits?”
Boys… if you want to guarantee that you don’t get laid… add these to your repertoire today!!!!
The 13th Year 
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